Skyrim modder makes it easier than ever to avoid having your crimes reported by a horse

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An image of a criminal in Skyrim.
Credit: JaySerpa on Nexus Mods.

The life of a Skyrim guard, even those lucky enough to be patrolling sleepy little towns where trouble is a rarity, can be rough.

After all, when a random horse or goat runs up to you and informs you that the province’s saviour has decided to take a break from battling their Shadow of Mordor-esque nemesis or a pack of lore-friendly Deathclaws to commit some crimes, it’s hard not to be left short of words to describe how your life’s going.

However, thankfully now a modder has made eliminating instances of weird snitching from Skyrim easier than ever before.

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Stop right there, criminal scum! That bandit says you robbed him!

The mod that does this is called ‘Logical Crime Report (with FOMOD Installer)’ and is originally the work of modders ManiEsk and Pharros, whose mod ‘Logical Crime Report’ has now been updated by fellow modder aenda, whose previous work involves some minor additions to a couple of other mods.

Now, though, they’ve decided to make ManiEsk and Pharros’ mod a little easier to install, by packaging it with its own FOMOD installer, hopefully limiting the amount of time those not using a mod manager have to spend tweaking things and messing around with patches before diving into the game.

This might make it a more attractive alternative to the likes of Pharros and jss2a98aj’s ‘NARC Remade - No Animals Report Crimes for Skyrim SE’ and Qwinn’s ‘Critters Ain't Snitches - Animal and Monster Crime Reporting Fix’, both of which focus solely on stopping animals from reporting you to the fuzz.

As well as taking care of this amusing quirk of the vanilla game, Logical Crime Report also stops your fellow criminals from randomly approaching the very forces they’re on the run from to testify against you, with bandits now having been given a stern talking to about snitching.

If this change has you preoccupied that the bandits will stop talking to you too, making fighting your way through dungeons a lot less entertaining, also adding JaySerpa’s ‘Bandit Lines Expansion’ to your mod list might be a good idea.

This mod helps to ensure that each bandit gets a bit more of a personality and a chance to express themselves in more varied ways, rather than just yelling ‘Never should have come here!’ over and over again.

So, be glad that the years of bandit-guard collaboration to catch you are over, and make sure to follow us for more updates on The Elder Scrolls 6 and the wacky world of Skyrim modding.