Ever feel trapped with nothing to do while you're in the most comfortable place in the world? You're out there doing your number twos or number ones, and there’s no shampoo or soap bottle to read in silence, and the Wi-Fi’s out. That means it’s just you, your phone, or whatever portable console you brought with you, sitting there in silence, contemplating the meaning of life.
In this list, here are my five personal recommendations for the best games to play while on the toilet. These games vary in genre, so feel free to swap them with something similar if you prefer.
Wordle
Wordle is definitely the game to start with once you get into the driver’s seat. I’m sure your mobile data can handle it, as the game usually takes about 3 to 5 minutes, 10 if you’re feeling really stupid today. Perfect for quick dumps!
Wordle is basically everyone’s favorite vocabulary game when there’s nothing else to do after doomscrolling on TikTok or X all day. Just guess the word of the day and then wonder why you couldn't solve it in three moves or less. But if you’re still bored, you can always check out the rest of the New York Times catalog, like Connections or Spelling Bee.
The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles
A good visual novel is like reading a newspaper in the early '90s. Except instead of a newspaper, you’ve got your Steam Deck or Nintendo Switch 2 with you as you take the biggest dump on the planet. The good news is, you’re playing one of the most interesting visual novel experiences out there.
As a sucker for Ace Attorney titles, The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles helps you relax during the heartfelt moments, but can also cause your muscles to clench up with its dramatic twists and turns.
The game has over 10 major cases to solve, each packed with memorable moments with Herlock Sholmes (Yes, that’s his name) and Phoenix Wright’s great-great-grandfather, Ryusoke Naruodo, in Victorian England. That means you’ve got plenty of hours to play while on the toilet. Just make sure to wipe before diving into the best parts of the story.
Of course, there are alternatives here. If Ace Attorney isn’t enough, you could always try other visual novels like Danganronpa, The Hundred Line: Last Defense Academy, or basically anything that involves reading and cute anime girls.
Zenless Zone Zero
Playing a gacha game like Zenless Zone Zero while doing a sacred human activity might feel a little cheap, but if it helps you get through your dailies, then that’s reason enough to boot it up.
We’re not even going to pretend anymore; everyone knows the cast of attractive characters is what makes these games marketable. Just don’t let them get to your head. Whether it’s Zenless, Genshin Impact, Wuthering Waves, or whatever other game you whale on for anime characters, they’re all perfect companions while you’re sitting on your cold porcelain throne.
I'd also recommend Umamusume: Pretty Derby if you're into that sort of thing.
Hades or Hades II
Roguelikes are probably the best games I can recommend if you're stuck in the bathroom for a good hour. That kind of thing tends to happen after eating spicy Mexican food or anything else that doesn’t agree with your stomach.
A good run of Hades or Hades II can make time fly. I personally prefer Melinoe’s journey in Hades II since it feels faster and more responsive.
It doesn’t even matter if you make it to the end or not. What matters is that you spent your time rampaging through Olympus or the Underworld and had a blast doing it. Just don’t forget to complete those Prophecies.
Other good alternatives include Risk of Rain 2, Enter the Gungeon, or really any roguelike you enjoy.
Papers, Please
Okay, this one’s a very personal recommendation. Lucas Pope’s Papers, Please is the best game to play while on the toilet. Not only is it addictive, but it’s also available on almost every platform. Maybe except the Nintendo Switch, for some reason.
Playing it on your Android or iPhone gives you several solid minutes of deciding which migrants deserve entry into the glorious country of Arstotzka. It’s the perfect game for when you're trying to focus your muscles, since you’re constantly checking tiny details and spotting discrepancies in documents and passports.
Once you’ve successfully stamped through the right people, there’s this overwhelming feeling of relief, and your body relaxes right along with it.
Another solid alternative here is Stardew Valley. Just boot it up, run through a single day of tasks, hit the mines, or go flirt with Penny, whatever floats your boat.
And that’s about it. While there are plenty more games that are perfect for toilet time, these are just my top five recommendations to help pass the time. You can always mix it up with other titles as long as you’ve got a Steam Deck, a decent phone, or a Nintendo Switch with you.
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