We all know that the Casual playlists are basically an uncontrollable exercise in witnessing entropy and trying to fight against it and the all-consuming inevitable heat-death that they bring is pointless, but we also think there should be a couple of ground rules.
We understand that the MMR is all messed up, and that the matches are there just to warm up really, but we also understand that you might as well play through whatever weird circumstances the game throws at you. Well, most of the time. There are definitely some situations that you can wind up in that are never worth sticking around in, so we thought we’d list them off.
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Everyone seems to be freestyling, but you didn’t get the memo
This is a new one for us. Some people like to warm up in Freeplay, and that’s cool and all, but we like to just jump into Casual games instead. However, one 2v2 we find ourselves in recently involved the other three players all seemingly freestyling. At the time of writing this, our MMR in casual is 1700, which means we’re often against Grand Champs and above, so seeing people twirling through the air isn’t unusual. However, this match had everyone also missing regularly and just making bad ball-chasing plays. If you find yourself in this situation, leave.
The toxicity of the city is palpable
Sometimes you jump into matches and within two seconds your teammates have used the Wow! quick chat at each other, the opposing team, and you, all because of the inevitable lag spike that everyone experiences when someone new joins a match. Sometimes that’s not the biggest red flag, but you should pay attention, because it usually means they’re toxic af, and you don’t have to put up with that nonsense. You’ll know if they’re really toxic if they stop and type stuff, and also, they’ll usually be at the bottom of the scoreboard complaining about people’s rotations while trying to mount the ball like an overexcited puppy. You can leave these idiots with no shame.
The other team is toying with you
Look, sometimes you’re gonna land in a game where the other team is a party of three, all of them have fancy tournament winning titles which show off the fact that they’re all a higher rank than you, and it’s very clear that they’re all better than you. Now, this can go one of two ways. First, you can stick around, use this as a chance to play better opponents, and learn from it, all while they appreciate your hustle. The other outcome is that they laugh constantly at you and ruin your life so hard you uninstall the game. There’s no shame in leaving the match either way, but if they’re being needlessly mean about the whole thing, then bolt.
Nobody is moving
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Some people do XP farming, and it’s weird, but it happens. If you jump into a game and nobody is moving, but also nobody is getting booted out of the game, then you should cut your losses and leave. You’re not gaining anything from that match.
You’re down 7-1
We’ve all jumped into matches where you happen to arrive just as the rest of your team leaves, and your side of the field is down by a lot of goals. Now, you can leave these matches, and you’d not be wrong to do so, but you can also just write these matches off and use them to practice mechanics with no real fear of making things worse. What’s weird though, is when people join these matches, get scored on once again, and then leave. Did you think we were coming back from this Brazil beating in the remaining minute and a half of the match Steve? Did that one goal somehow decide the fate of the game for you? Stop being weird, either leave straight away or just accept the crushing defeat and do some flip resets or something.